A Dumb-ass New Year

My Macbook decided to completely die mid December hence no blogging, no nothing really, it has absolutely sucked, worst part no pro-wrestling. Thankfully due to some kind Brazilian technicians, a large sum of money and a unnecessarily long wait, I’m back up in this.



Not much Jiu-Jitsu related, my chick was visiting over the Christmas period, this limited the amount I was training & allowed me to gain a whopping 9 KGs! My experience of the festive season here was somewhat different to the norm. A change of scenerio switched my sweaty dorm-room to an appartment on an Island. Living that Island life business, getting a boat to and from the spot, crazy wildlife and ridiculous 40 degree temperatures. Christmas dinner was created using a camping stove, I say Christmas dinner quite loosely, I actually mean a steak and egg sandwich. The day itself was pretty much spent eating serious quantities of brigadeiro cake and sweating a lot. We tried to watch Home Alone but even big Kev doing his thing was hard to enjoy when your afflicted with dripping back sweats without even moving.



New Years Eve was an experience I won’t forget in a long time. Copacabana beach is host to one of the largest NYE celebrations in the world, hundreds of thousands of people all dressed in white celebrating and bringing the new year in together. Well that’s what I’ve heard anyway, I wasn’t there. My tale begins as I dropped the chick off at the airport, this was at 7.30PM, the idea was to jump on a direct coach and be back at the gaff by 9.00. I jumped on the coach that I believed would take me to Barra. I didn’t even think anything of it when I didn’t recognise the direction we were going, as traffic was being re-routed due to the beach celebrations. Although I became slightly concerned when we pulled into a coach station which I’d never heard of and the driver turned off his engine.

No big deal though, there was plenty of buses around so I’d just jump on one of these bad-boys. The trouble was I’d just received my deposit back from the Island apartment and also had money I’d taken out for the next couple of week’s survival, so I had the equivalent of about 500 beans on me all in large bills. I spotted a bus that I had been on before and knew it stopped at Barra Pasarela, this was 5 minutes from the gaff, so it was all good. I was on said bus a good while before I began to worry that I hadn’t recognised anything, it really became brown trousers time when the bus stopped just outside Recreio favela and I was informed it was the last stop. I’d managed to get on the bus doing the opposite loop, you’ve really got to be a dumb-ass to get on back to back wrong buses!

I was more than a little concerned that I was packing hella cash, an iPhone, a Macbook (albeit broken one) and in the ghetto. I saw the main road from where I was dropped, so rather than walking calmly I just took off like The Flash. When I got to the main road I thought I’d just jump on another bus and ‘boom’ back to the spot and celebrate new years! However whilst waiting at the bus stop a car pulled along side me and 2 dudes jumped out, based on prior experience I knew I was about to be jacked, dudes were packing some serious screw faces. There was no way I was gonna give up all my shit so I launched into Sidney Prescott survival tactics and literally ran as fast as I’ve ever ran, I might have even screamed a little too! My first bit of luck was I’d picked the right side of the road to run as the car wasn’t able to reverse, I just jumped on the first bus that came past, which somehow took me all the way to Barra.

I finally got home at 11:50 feeling pretty traumatised, watched some fireworks from the garden and then went to bed. Worst new years ever!


One thought on “A Dumb-ass New Year

  1. Jamie Swindells says:

    Good read ! Too funny about the farting on buses I were pissing myself at bootjuice , not heard that for time and that sounded shit scary about the wrong bus business . Fuck that !

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